Q: My husband had an affair and I found out about it. I am very depressed. He is asking for forgiveness from me and I have forgiven him but I can't forget what he had done. I asked him all the details of what he had done with this woman and now each time I think about it it makes me hate him. When he comes close to me I think about what he had done with the woman. Please help me. I am very upset. It has been 4 months and I can't get over it.

A: If you can find it in your heart to truly forgive your husband and at the same time take precautions for the future, Allah Ta'aala will surely forgive you for your shortcomings and have mercy on you. The mistake was asking for details because this is now working on your mind. This will take time. He has sinned. He must make Taubah (repent) for this lapse. If you truly forgive him, Allah will grace you with His special mercies and favours. Be patient and it will heal, Inshaa Allah. Every human has his/her faults. Some of these faults hurt others too, (as in this case) but the issue cannot be undone. Yes, we have to take precautions for the future. Help him in this. May Allah Ta'aala grant you peace of mind, tranquility and harmony, Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

Q: The relationship I have with my wife has been unstable for quite some time now. A couple of weeks ago we had an argument and she came to the conclusion that she does not want to be with me anymore. She has requested a divorce and I have said that I will give her divorce at the end of the month. I have said this because at the end of the month it will be exactly 3 months since we have had any sexual contact. In the process of this I have still tried to sort our marriage out but this week we had another argument and she said talaq to me 3 times and said that it is possible that she could give me a divorce. I have only said talaq to her once though. Please let me know if this divorce has been accepted?

A: Talaaq can only be issued by the husband. The action or statement of a wife cannot constitute Talaaq. If you had issued Talaaq to her once then that one Talaaq is effective and you are now the owner of two Talaaqs.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

Q: A young woman who was divorced is in her iddat. Two haidhs (menstrual periods) have passed. The third haidh is long overdue (according to her normal habit). What should she do? In the same situation if the woman is close to menopause i.e 50-52 years of age, what will she do?

A: In the first scenario the lady will have to wait for the occurrence of her third haidh regardless of how long that takes. There is no alternative here, unless the delay is for a full year, in which case her iddat will be calculated according to months. We can suggest that she take medication to bring on the haidh if she intends marrying again.

In the second case if the lady still experiences haidh she will have to spend an iddat according to haidh even if she is close to menopause. However, if her haidh has discontinued at that stage then her iddat will be counted as three months (i.e. 90 days)

And Allah Ta'ala knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai

Q: A man died leaving no parents, no grandparents, one wife, 3 sons and 7 daughters. How should his estate be distributed?


A. The wife of the deceased will receive 12.5% of the estate. The three sons will divide 40.38% equally among themselves, and the seven daughters will divide 47.12% equally among themselves.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Q: I have  a cousin who has been told by doctors he will soon die from cancer. He has said he wants to be buried in here in England. However his wife is in Pakistan and cannot travel to UK. Therefore should he be buried in UK or Pakistan?  I'm of the view that his wife has a right to see his dead body one last time and to be buried next to him when she dies. Furthermore does the wife have a right over the dead body of her husband??

A. It is recorded in the books of Fiqh that it is Makrooh Tahreemi to move the body from one city to another. (Raddul Muhtaar V6 P388). Moving it from one country to another is even worse. It is totally unnecessary and costly. To spend so much money on an arrangement that is un-Islamic is a sin on its own.

The cost of this procedure is paid for in one of two ways: (1) the money is taken from the estate of the deceased. The assets of the deceased belong to the heirs after his death and it will not be permissible to take out this unnecessary expense from the estate, especially when there are also minors among the heirs. (2) Someone else pays for it. It will be more beneficial for that money to be given as charity on behalf of the deceased so that the deceased may benefit from it in the hereafter. Therefore, regardless who pays for the transporting of the body, it still involves waste of funds.

This person should be buried in the UK. It will not be permissible to transfer him elsewhere after death. Family members should try their best to let the wife travel from Pakistan to the UK to be with her husband in his final moments. This is financially and spiritually the better option.

After the death the wife has no right over the husband’s body. The Wali of the deceased has to take care of the Janaazah etc, but even he may not do anything contrary to Shari'ah. The law of Shari'ah takes precedence over our emotions and feelings, even the feelings of the dead man’s wife.

Allah Ta'aala knows best.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Q: Is it obligatory for women to get married?

A: It is not obligatory on either man or woman to marry unless the individual fears he or she will fall into zinaa (adultery); then marriage is obligatory. Otherwise it is a strong sunnah.

Mufti Siraj Desai