Adoption and Hijab

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Q: My paternal grandfather Yusuf gave my father Salim to his brother Ahmed and his wife Hawa who didn't have kids. Ahmed legally adopted Salim. Ahmed passed away recently and Hawa is in iddat. I am Salim's son, Sulaymaan. Can I go live with Hawa when her iddat ends?

A:
In the above case, Hawa, who is your grand-uncle’s wife (your grandfather’s sister-in-law) is not a mehram to you. So you cannot interact with her without the presence of her mehram. If you can live in the same house as her and observe some sort of purdah, then that will be permissible. Otherwise not.

Remember that through adoption a male and female do not automatically become mehram, unless the adopted child was breastfed by the adopting mother before the age of two.

Allah knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai
Darul-Uloom Abubakr

Disciplining Children

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Q: Can you give me the authentic hadith about the rules of disciplining children.

A:
'Tarbiyyah' i.e. proper up-bringing of a child consists of many facets, one of them is punishment when required. Our Shari'ah has not ignored this facet but acknowledged it and presented us with guidance on this important branch of Tarbiyyah.

The Ulama versed in Tarbiyyah have said that physical punishment is not the only means of Tarbiyyah and not the first measure to be resorted to.

Before resorting to physical punishment, the parent/teacher/guardian should observe the following:

a) Dealing with a child is predominantly based on consideration, kindness and mercy. A Hadeeth teaches us to make kindness and gentleness compulsory upon ourselves and to avoid harshness and obscenity. (Al Adabul Mufrad V1 P116)
b) Start with the easiest and lightest method of discipline, moving to severer methods step by step, if there is a need.
c) Be considerate of the disposition and nature of the errant child when deciding a punishment. It will be oppressive to punish a child above his/her fortitude.

THE STAGES OF SEVERITY:

* It is best to first admonish the child verbally with civility and courteousness and this is learnt from our beloved Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam). He advised a boy on the etiquette of eating in the following manner: O boy! Take the name of Allah, eat with the right hand and eat from in front of you. (Muslim V6 P109)
* Make the child aware of the error with a hint towards the error committed.
* If the above-mentioned two points do not have the desired effect, now reproach and reprimand the child.
* Thereafter, if still not successful, cut ties with the child for a short while, so that the displeasure of the parent can be fully impressed upon the child.
* The last resort is beating the child. The permissibility of physical punishment is taken from the Hadeeth wherein Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said that instruct the children to perform Salaah when they are seven years of age and beat them regarding their Salaah when they are ten years of age. (Abu Dawood V1 P185)

Parents/teachers should remember that this beating is also governed by Shari'ah.

1) The Hadeeth discourages from hitting on the face. (Nisa'i V4 P325). Bruising and wounding must also be avoided. Do not hit on any delicate part of the body.

2) When a stick, whip, etc. will not be used for neglect in Salaah, it will not be used for any other misdemeanour. (Raddul Muhtaar V3 P86). The open hand will be used and not a fist.

3) More than three strikes should not be inflicted. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) advised a teacher: If you inflict more than three strikes, Allah will take revenge from you. (Raddul Muhtaar V3 P86)

Another important advice: Do not make a decision on the child or mete out punishment while in anger. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) has discouraged making a decision while in the state of anger. (Muslim V5 P132). When in anger, a person gets carried away with emotions, the intelligence is impaired and the parent later regrets the decision and punishment. The parent/teacher who punishes without equilibrium and fairness will be answerable in the court of Allah.

When sorting out a problem between two children, do not let one of them feel that the other is being favoured in any way. Focus your gaze equally on them, let them be seated on the same level and do not raise your voice on only one of them. These are lessons derived from a Hadeeth of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam). (Musnad Abu Ya'laa V10 P264).

Do not embarrass, belittle and ridicule a child in front of others. Do not expose his fault in front of others. Do not be the cause of the child suffering from an inferiority complex by telling him how 'stupid' he is and how intelligent the other children are. Be his source of encouragement and compliment him when required. This compliment from you the parent will encourage the child towards greater heights.

May Allah Ta'aala grant Taufeeq to one and all to hold on to justice and fairness in all walks of life, Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

Mocking a Sunnah

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Q: I live in England. If I decided I want to follow a particular aspect of Islam which is not obligatory to follow (but Sunnah). So if I decided to openly follow the Sunnah in public, even though I know for a fact that the people would mock Islam if they saw me adhering to the Sunnah, and I still go ahead and follow the Sunnah, would I become a Kaafir (non Muslim)? Because didn’t I initiate them to mock Islam, even though I hate for them to mock Islam. I love following the Sunnah.

A:
If they mock it, you will not become Kaafir. Even if they mock, the Sunnah will not be discarded on account of their mocking.

I will explain two incidents here and Inshaa Allah the issue will be resolved.

1. The conqueror of Iran Sayyidina Huzayfah bin Yamaan (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) was called to the palace of the Kisra for discussions. Food was presented to them. He began eating and while eating, a morsel of food fell from his hand. The instruction of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) is that such a morsel should be picked up and eaten. Sayyidina Huzayfah recalled this Hadeeth and reached out to pick it up. The person next to him said: "what are you doing? This is the palace of the superpower of the time. If you pick up that morsel, these people will lose respect for you. They will consider you to be low, so do not pick it up, today is not appropriate to do so". In reply, Sayyidina Huzayfah uttered a beautiful, eye-opening and comprehensive statement applicable to all times and situations. He said: Must I discard the Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) because of these fools!!

In other words, whether they disgrace, mock ridicule or think of me as low, I will not and cannot discard the Sunnah of my beloved Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam).  

2. At the time of the Treaty of Hudaybiyah, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam sent) Sayyidina Uthmaan (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) into Makkah to negotiate with the Quraysh. He went and stayed at the house of his paternal cousin. In the morning when it was time to go to the meeting with the Quraysh, his pants was above his ankles, raised to midway of his calves, because the instruction of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) is that it is not permissible for it to be below the ankles. His cousin said to him: "the custom of the Arabs is that the lower the pants hangs, the more respectable the person is considered to be, so leaders and influential people always let the pants hang. If you go with your pants raised in this manner, they will lose respect for you, resulting in your discussion being ineffective". Sayyidina Uthmaan replied: This is how the Izaar (pants, lungi) of my companion (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) is.

In other words, this is how Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) wears his and instructs us to wear it. So if they consider me low or respect me, honour me or disgrace me, I am not bothered. I have seen the Izaar of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam); mine is the same and I will not change the style for anyone. (Islaahi Khutbaat Hadhrat Mufti Mohammed Taqi Saheb)

In summary, if by practicing on the Sunnah, it leads to mockery by others, the Sunnah will not be discarded.

The Muslims have not gained any respect by discarding the Sunnah, rather, they have lost respect because of neglecting and discarding the Sunnah.        

Allah Ta'aala knows best.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

Yellowish Discharge and Menstrual Habit

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Q: I need to know what is regarded as the time of Haidh according to the hanafi mazhab. Is it 15 days after ones last period or is it the dates a woman normally experiences Haidh? I'm asking because I've read that any colour discharge including yellow is regarded as Haidh if it is experienced during the time of Haidh. The problem is that many a time I experience a dark yellow discharge but not exactly at the time I am supposed to be having my period. I am on the pill. Hope my question is clear.

A
: Your question is quite clear.

The haidh period is the dates a woman normally experiences bleeding, on condition that it comes after minimum 15 clean days, and it lasts for 3 to 10 days. During her habit or cycle, any colour discharge is regarded as haidh.

The dark yellow which comes outside the haidh period is not haidh. During that time a woman can make salaah etc as normal but should make a fresh wudhu for every salaah.

Mufti Siraj Desai
Darul-Uloom Abubakr

Bleeding between Menstrual Periods

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Q: I have a couple of questions regarding menstruation:
1) In hanafi fiqh, there has to be a minimum of 15 days purity between two periods of menstruation. Does this mean that if I see blood which has the characteristics of menstrual blood on the 13th or 14th day after the end of the first period, I should consider this as istihada and continue to pray and fast until the minimum term is complete?
2) Some scholars say that if woman becomes pure following menstruation at the time of asr or isha, she should also pray zuhr and maghrib because she has an excuse for combining them. But according to the hanafi madhab, combining prayers in not permissible in any case, so should a woman who follows the hanafi madhab do this?

A: 1.
It is true that there must be a minimum of 15 clean days to separate two haidh. It is also true that if on the 13th or 14th day a woman experiences bleeding then that blood is the blood of istihaadha. However, in this case she cannot wait for 15 days and then assume her second haidh has begun. Instead, she go according to her past habits (aadat) or cycle in clean days and days of bleeding, and calculate her periods accordingly. Here is an example: A woman has a usual cycle of 8 days haidh and 20 days tuhr (clean period). That means she has an interval of 20 clean days between two haidh. So is she experiences bleeding after 12 or 13 days since her last haidh, she must count that as istihaadah and then wait for 20 days to pass before counting her next haidh. I hope this example clarifies the mas’ala for you. Write back to me if you don’t understand.

2. It is not permissible to combine two salaah for whatever reason according to the Hanafi mazhab. According to other mazhaahib salaah may be combined on a journey or during very heavy rain, by people who are offering salaah in the musjid. So even according to the other mazhaahib, the reasons you gave above are not valid for combining salaah. There is no mazhhab that states a woman who has become clean from haidh can combine two salaah.

Allah Ta’ala knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai
Darul-Uloom Abubakr

Drugs and Worship

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Q: If a person consumes intoxicants such as drugs (not alcohol), is their salaah and ibaadat also not accepted for 40 days as is for alcohol?

A:
The reason why a person who consumes alcohol does not have his ibaadat accepted is the fact that he or she has become intoxicated. So it does not matter in which way one became intoxicated. If a substance was consumed for the deliberate and express purpose of becoming intoxicated then the same rules will apply as for alcohol, whether it was marijuana, heroin, cocaine, or any other drugs. The ibaadat of such a person, too will not be accepted for 40 days.

Allah Ta’ala knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai
Darul-Uloom Abubakr

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