Abuse over Studies

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Q: I have a friend studying science, and will become doctor. This year she did bad in two subjects and her father was so angry with her that he beat her badly till her face became swollen as well as her hand. She fell unconscious, and this effected her mentally. She redid the exams but feels the exam has not gone well, and now she is afraid that her father will kill her. She already tried to go to the homes of her relative but did not get any support from them. She is really scared for her life now, she talks of killing herself, or escaping from her home to some friends' house far away for some time. Please advice as she is running out of patience and asking for help.

Please tell your friend not to run away. This is not the way to handle this situation. Instead she must contact the Ulema or elderly people in her community to explain her father that he has no right to beat for doing bad in her studies. This is haraam. Shariah does not allow this. He shall be answerable to Allah for this on the day of judgment.

If there is no one to help her, then she must go to the police or social workers and ask them for protection, because the next beating might lead to her death. If that too, fails, then she must go and live by this friend's house far away, and then write a letter to her father explaining the reason why she is gone away. She must be straight-forward and frank in this letter, and tell her father that she is scared or that she is contemplating suicide.

If possible give me her father's email address or telephone number and we can speak to him from our side. Parents must understand that how students fare in exams is not in their hands; this is entirely up to Allah Ta'ala. They should not commit such extreme acts just for the sake of some worldly matter that will not benefit them nor their children in the akhirat.

I make dua that Allah Ta'ala grants the father understanding and mercy, and that he protects your friend from harm, aameen

Mufti Siraj Desai